Going home...off to my old home

Yey! Finally it's weekend again. Completed five days of work, didn't notice time as it's so fast that I'm about to go home to my parents again. Yep...you see when I delivered Psalm, we stayed with my mom in QC during my mat leave. I sort of missed the fact that I only visited my former home for like 3 or 4 times only during the first year of my marriage. Maybe mom stopped missing me then coz she knows I'm not coming anyway. Yeah I know... bad bad me.

Now she won't miss me anytime soon. When I got back to work, I'm the one missing someone and almost everyday during the first month, phew...I would literally cry and laugh while shrinking myself on the sofa trying to think what to do, reasoning out if I actually need to do something regarding our current arrangement. Psalm stayed with mom when I went back to work. I stayed in Manda (like 1.5hrs away from QC) during work days. I only get to see Psalm during the weekends. For most of moms I know you'll question this setup (and believe me I do too).

I would want to take Psalm with us and just hire a babysitter to look out for him. I guess this setup is ideal and this is what I thought so when we're just planning for a baby. But when Psalm came everything changed. All things I know turned the other way around. I now prefer having my mom and my Tita handle my little boy. I forgot how I once thought I'll bring my boy with me and have a stranger take care of him. Well at least for now...at least when he's not yet able to tell when the yaya did something to him.

It's like balancing pros and cons...more like weighing what's for Psalm and what's for us.  I would cry thinking I'm not there with him when he's out sleeping at night. I'm not there when he took that first cookie bite (hushhush). It's a shame I'll wake up dreaming about his smile, content on watching his videos on my phone. Oh well,  I am was not in a hurry to my becoming rich, but when Psalm came I'd dream about having all the finances we need just so I can stop working and be there for this little big baby.

But heck yeah, we need to push a little harder for now. I guess I'd just look forward to this weekly meetups with my baby. I can't wait to see him now.